Goodbye Inner Critic, Hello Creative Genius

When we are hard on ourselves, does that push us to be better? Or stifle us into not trying at all?

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, or some variation of, 'we are our own worse critics'. Well that is certainly true in my case. I can criticize myself like nobody's business. Maybe I learned it from the Catholic school nuns, let's face it they were brutal. Or maybe I was just born this way.

Either way, I've had to do a lot of work - and pay for a lot of therapy - to get past the criticism and move into self acceptance. 

This is an image from a trip to Peru in 2005. It was right after I started using a new digital camera, and was NOT familiar with the settings. As much as I wanted to love this photo, I wasn’t happy with the fact that the girl’s face wasn’t sharply focused.

When we are critical of ourselves, it does help in some ways. It helps us to evaluate our performance, create better ways of doing things. For photography, photo critique is one of the BEST ways to learn how to improve. By someone telling you "I would have placed the subject here, or I would have framed it this way, or this is a little overexposed and you can fix that by…" That is how we learn to improve our skills and grow.

So why is criticizing ourselves so NOT good for growth? Well I can only speak from my own experience, but for me I am overly critical of absolutely every single thing that I do. No matter what it is, photography, exercise, my job…it could have been better, it should have been better. “I don't think that was a good attempt, but maybe next time I'll try…” Nope. It was pretty much "that sucked and you aren't good at it."

That led me to abandon my photography for a while. “I'm not good at it. I don't know what I'm doing.” I really feel like the 40's decade in when this condition started to improve. I don't know if it was hormones, experience, or lots and lots of self-work but I finally started to accept myself more in my 40's. I gave myself permission to make mistakes and try new things KNOWING they wouldn't be perfect.

This is another image that part of me really loved - taken in Japan. But the critic was still in there, analyzing every thing that was wrong with it…

Creativity is the energy we have for expression, for play, for being who we are. I think of it like mind freedom. You are free to creative WHATEVER comes into your mind. But self-criticism stifles our ability to let loose and play.

I've heard it compared to the little devil on one shoulder telling us everything is wrong. And then the little angel on the other is telling us how wonderful we are. Unfortunately I never had much of a little angel. It’s really all about balance. If we don't have some checks and balances we tend toward the narcissistic and think we can do no wrong. I think we've all worked for THAT boss!

This is what I've learned to do. Be conscious of what the voices are saying. No not THOSE voices, I'm not psychotic. You know, those voices who tell us the story of "you aren't very good at this", "you aren't creative", "you don't know what you're doing"… THOSE voices. And they keep repeating and repeating and repeating UNTIL we recognize them and tell them to shut the hell up.

The first step? Recognizing they are there and listen to what they are saying. As if they are that devil or bully on your shoulder - not YOU. I've even heard from someone (a book I read but can't remember now - if you know the author PLEASE comment) who named her inner critique, and would have a conversation with her. Tell her to shut her trap. I named mine Penelope. Sorry to anyone reading this with that name…it was totally random I assure you.

Then whenever I would hear Penelope telling me those things that weren't so nice, I would tell her to shut her pie hole…or something along those lines.

I'm telling you, this has helped me tremendously in my progress toward connecting to my creativity, my passion, my purpose. It has allowed me to be me. Silencing my inner critic, bully, whatever you want to call her, has made me a difference person in many ways. OK, full disclosure, Penelope isn't SILENT, she is just quieter. And when I hear her start squawking I recognize the chatter and am able to silence it. That's what it's all about. Baby steps.

This photo was made in Bordeaux, France. I loved so much about it - the French story that it tells. But I really had to fight Penelope to let go of finding all the flaws. And I finally did.

This is what I ask of you. Listen for that voice telling you that you aren't good enough, aren't creative, or don't know what you are doing with a camera. Tell him or her to shut her trap (or you are certainly welcome to use stronger language if that makes you feel better - no judgement). Then get out your camera and try something completely different than you have every done before. Get REALLY close, or try some blurred motion. OR just do whatever your spirit tells you to do. Heck make photos of the sky all day if that moves you.

No judgement. No criticism. Look at the results with fresh eyes. With learning eyes. With accepting eyes. 

I feel like for this post I was channeling my inner therapist. Don't worry I won't send you a bill. This one is on me.

I would love to hear from you about how you deal with your inner critic. And if you are feeling adventurous, feel free to share some of your wild-abandon-goodbye-inner-critic photo making attempts. You’re welcome to do that in our private Facebook Group. We’re super nice and accepting over there.

This is a photo I made in Annecy, France. I feel in love with it as soon as it was on my screen. Penelope showed up to pick it apart, and I shooed her away. “I don’t need any input from you, hit the road”…and so she did.

If you’d like a little extra help coming up with ideas to have fun, get creative, and try some new things with your camera…make sure to grab my free Camera Creativity Guide right here!